When caught in the act of anything, boys always resort to “the look.” You know exactly what I’m talking about. The blank stare of bewilderment. The starry gaze of indecisiveness. Then after a long stare, they add the quizzical nose scrunch at the end. It’s the look.
The look is what boys give you when they have nothing else to offer, most often when they are bewildered by the current line of questioning. The sort of questions that are nearly always followed by the look include:
- “Why is there a string of toilet paper going across the floor of this whole house?”
- “How did hand lotion get all over the windshield of the van?”
- “Where is the gigantic tub of peanut butter that was in this cabinet two hours ago?”
Because boys have zero logical answers to questions like these, they have developed the look as their primary line of defense. You may also experience the look during many moments which involve no questions at all, such as rounding a corner and discovering boys drawing huge crooked dinosaurs on the light blue curtains in their bedroom using Sharpie markers. No words spoken. No words needed. Just the look.
It’s a moment that can bring the universe to a halt for quite an extended period of time. I’ve experimented with just locking in and holding the look, attempting to discover if the boy will ever waver. He will not. My record is nearly two minutes, and nothing. Finally I am forced to break the standoff, usually with some brilliant fatherly line like “What are you doing?”
Since I have analyzed this moment extensively during my vast experiences with boys, I’m fairly certain that I can interpret the thought processes within the mind of boys when the look is actually taking place:
- “Oh man. This is not good. Should I confess? Oh wait, I NEVER CONFESS!!”
- “But I’m holding the marker right in my hand! Quick, hide the marker.”
- “Brownies are brown, like mud. But they sure taste better than mud.”
It is extremely important for you to gain a thorough understanding of the look very early in your dealings with boys. You’re going to be seeing a lot of it.