19. Lose their Shoes

Our identical twin boys are 5, and we have spent a cumulative 4.8 months of their lives searching for lost shoes.  Pretty much the final ten minutes before any trip going anywhere is spent destroying our house in a crazed frenzy, desperately looking for a shoe.  If we ever came home after burglars had broken in and ransacked our place, it would probably be a few days before we really noticed, due to all the shoe-searching wreckage and debris we leave on a normal basis. If I walked in to find the fridge flipped over and the HDTV missing, I’d probably just grab a snack and be like “Man, she must have had a horrible shoe morning.”

Part of this ongoing problem for boys can surely be attributed to the “Drag and Drop” issue, but I have suspicions that a large factor is the violent shoe removal process.  It is nearly impossible for boys to calmly remove shoes and place them in the shoe storage area.  Shoes must be flung, flipped, tossed, or otherwise jettisoned in rapid manner.  Once we randomly discovered a dusty shoe on top of a seven foot tall armoire in our bedroom, months after my wife had given up on the lone survivor shoe and just bought a new pair.  In this situation, don’t even bother asking boys how it got there.  You’ll get no answers.  Usually you’ll just get the look.

When you do find yourself in emergency shoe recovery mode (looks somewhat similar to that “Tear Down This House!!” segment on Extreme Home Makeover), don’t expect to find the shoe in any logical place.  I once found a shoe from a stuffed baseball-uniformed teddy bear in the shoe box in the boys’ room.  I hollered across the house, “NOT IN HERE!  GOT A SHOE FOR A BEAR, BUT NONE FOR BOYS.”  Possibly a sign the brothers were finally making a thought connection between actual shoes and the shoe box…but doubtful.

My wife also has attempted to defy the odds by purchasing identical pairs of shoes to strap on our identical boys.  Doesn’t matter.  On our last search for four matching brown flip flops, we found only two.

Both of them for the right foot.

“HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO LOSE TWO LEFT FLIP FLOPS??!!”  I yelled at her…

She just stared at me for a moment, then flipped the couch upside down and resumed hurling pillows.

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10 thoughts on “19. Lose their Shoes

  1. Levi was outside the other day, playing with a friend, and I guess they got bored, cause they decided to see how far they could kick their shoes off. Levi’s made it from our house, past the neighbor’s house, probably about 25 ft. But his friend kicked his off, and it went past 2 houses, and into the chicken pen, at LEAST 40 ft. or MORE! So relax, when they get a little bit bigger, it will become a contest, a way to assert their power and ‘manliness’, by seeing who can kick it the furthest….you just have to train them to actually go GET the shoe afterwards..:)

  2. OMG’sh – so true! Our youngest does the SAME THING everytime we go somewhere. And sure enough – never even remotely where the shoes come off!
    As for the random, very oddly (is that a word?) lost shoe – while painting before our last move, we found shoe prints on the ceiling in the play room. No beds, no books shelves, nothing taller than 2 feet and no shoes are to be worn in the house? When asked, sure enough like you said – the look.
    I agree with the above posts; Pixies!

  3. Pingback: 29. Ruin Their Socks | Stuff Boys Do

  4. It’s not gremlins or pixies, the story goes that the shoes have to remain together while on feet and they aren’t too fond of each other, so one “walks” away when they aren’t being used, true story my son “watched” it happen.

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