Our identical twin boys are 5, and we have spent a cumulative 4.8 months of their lives searching for lost shoes. Pretty much the final ten minutes before any trip going anywhere is spent destroying our house in a crazed frenzy, desperately looking for a shoe. If we ever came home after burglars had broken in and ransacked our place, it would probably be a few days before we really noticed, due to all the shoe-searching wreckage and debris we leave on a normal basis. If I walked in to find the fridge flipped over and the HDTV missing, I’d probably just grab a snack and be like “Man, she must have had a horrible shoe morning.”
Part of this ongoing problem for boys can surely be attributed to the “Drag and Drop” issue, but I have suspicions that a large factor is the violent shoe removal process. It is nearly impossible for boys to calmly remove shoes and place them in the shoe storage area. Shoes must be flung, flipped, tossed, or otherwise jettisoned in rapid manner. Once we randomly discovered a dusty shoe on top of a seven foot tall armoire in our bedroom, months after my wife had given up on the lone survivor shoe and just bought a new pair. In this situation, don’t even bother asking boys how it got there. You’ll get no answers. Usually you’ll just get the look.
When you do find yourself in emergency shoe recovery mode (looks somewhat similar to that “Tear Down This House!!” segment on Extreme Home Makeover), don’t expect to find the shoe in any logical place. I once found a shoe from a stuffed baseball-uniformed teddy bear in the shoe box in the boys’ room. I hollered across the house, “NOT IN HERE! GOT A SHOE FOR A BEAR, BUT NONE FOR BOYS.” Possibly a sign the brothers were finally making a thought connection between actual shoes and the shoe box…but doubtful.
My wife also has attempted to defy the odds by purchasing identical pairs of shoes to strap on our identical boys. Doesn’t matter. On our last search for four matching brown flip flops, we found only two.
Both of them for the right foot.
“HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO LOSE TWO LEFT FLIP FLOPS??!!” I yelled at her…