29. Ruin Their Socks

The problem with boys and socks is not just missing socks.  It’s missing socks and DESTROYED socks.  When running around at home, boys don’t want shoes and certainly have no idea where they left their shoes, so this does not bode well for socks.  In fact, it means socks are doomed, because boys have absolutely no interest in removing them.  Rain, mud, sleet, snow, gravel, asphalt… It doesn’t matter.  They’re goin’ out in their socks.

While wearing nothing on their feet but socks, boys will ride scooters and bikes, play entire games of basketball, chase their sisters in the rain, and spend an hour climbing trees in the neighbor’s yard.  And when they’re done with them (or when you yell something smart like “Where are your shoes??? YOU ARE RUINING THOSE SOCKS!!), boys just peel ’em off and toss ’em in a brown wad in the garage.  If you let them dry they’re hard as ceramic tile.  With embedded chunks of mulch and pebbles.

The problem reaches epidemic levels if you acquire a trampoline like we did, because shoes are not allowed.  You’re doing good if you can keep jagged metal objects like razor scooters and lawn sprinklers off the thing.  So as long as boys are not shredding the trampoline surface with forks and stuff, you are happy to deal with fossilized rock-blobs of socks all over the yard.

If you get the trampoline, you’d better establish an entire budget addendum to manage sock expenses.  We took out a home equity loan.  Trampoline = total sock destruction.

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13 thoughts on “29. Ruin Their Socks

  1. Do your boys manage to keep both socks on? My older one has been removing one sock, usually the left one, and displacing it. Can’t they make boys shoes with built-in socks?

  2. Socks are the IN thing in our home now too. The 2 girls want to wear socks inside the house so they can slide-slide on the tiled floor. It is not as exciting as RUNNING THOSE SOCKS though, admittedly.

    • “Two choices” — I use this line all the time. Must be the standard line of brilliant parents. lol “You have two choices: go to your room and go to bed, or sit up and eat the food your mother made you without complaining.” Life is so simple when you are a kid, right? 🙂

  3. Oooh – this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! In our house we have “sock season”…. and I *severly dislike* “sock season”. Depending on where we’re living at the time dictates the length; the south being my favorite because it’s only about 2-3 months long. Right now we’re in the NW, so it’s *9* months long – OY! This means you only get your socks during this specified time and then they go away. But all through the season, mom finds random socks lying around the house – usually only one, in the hallway, under the dinner table, in the kitchen? x|

    LOVE this one – it’s just so perfectly boy!

  4. I just read this blog while sitting in Starbucks with my eleven year old son. I started to laugh and he wanted to know why. I told him your blog is about boys destroying socks. His response was simple and quick: “we just run around in them because we don’t know where our shoes are”. At least our boys are consistent. Thanks for expressing the frustration of dads everywhere.

  5. Pingback: 43. Wreck Your Lawn | Stuff Boys Do

  6. My 11 and 9 year olds are the same ! They spend most of the day in their socks and even play football or bike just wearing socks. As soon as we arrive anywhere (a restaurant, cinema, on the train, etc.) shoes come off When they come home from school, they change their uniform into casual clothes, however they usually keep on wearing their grey school regular socks, so they go through almost ten pairs a month. I’m fed up trying them to put on shoes and I gave up when I realised some other parents struggle also with it but the last straw came when we went to the shopping centre: after a while I realised the older one had been sliding happily throughout the shop floors in his socks, of course I yelled at him but as everyone says: boys will be boys !

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