46. DVDestruction

VHS copies of kid shows and movies are still doing a brisk business on eBay.  Why?  Boys, that’s why.  Yes, boys are driving the market on used VHS tapes, because smart parents know: those suckers are indestructible.

Buy a DVD copy of WALL-E or Monsters, Inc. and that thing will be skipping all over the place in days.  Toy Story 3, The Lorax?  Trashed.  Boys shred DVDs.  They toss ’em, drop ’em, stuff, slide and roll ’em.  As soon as the next movie is selected, the previous DVD is discarded.  I’m pretty sure boys just hurl it to the floor then immediately take turns standing on it.  While wiggling.

Later each evening, I pause as I pass the playroom and survey the debris field, each disc shining like a cute little land mine on the carpet.  At this point, eight years into owning boys, I have lost more money by throwing away scratched DVDs than I currently have in my entire retirement fund.  I can’t even begin to discuss CDs or Wii game discs.  The carnage is incalculable.

Every DVD in our house looks like somebody artfully etched a haystack on the shiny side of it.  I can only believe that boys are using them as coasters, carpet slider roller skating devices, and frisbees.  In fact, it is entirely possible that DVD discs at our house see more action than the actual frisbees.  The frisbees are buried in the bottom of that giant box full of balls and skates out in the garage.  The DVDs are right there in the middle of every daily indoor boy battle between Optimus Prime, Spiderman, and an entire brigade of hot wheels cars under the direction of the Incredible Hulk.  DVDs have zero chance of survival.

Yes, I am aware that DVD technology is fading fast, giving way to streaming, downloads and other “non destructible” content.  I don’t care.  I’m hanging on to a handful of VHS classics, mainly for the revenge factor – so I can embarrass them in front of their friends in a few more years.

“You guys want movie night at our house??  SUUURE!!!  I got your favorite old Buzz Lightyear tape right here!”

“HEY, where you going???”

“IT’S ALMOST DONE REWINDING!!!”

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4 thoughts on “46. DVDestruction

  1. I have thrown countless numbers of discs in the trash. Broken in half. Completely broken in half. They have even tried to tape them together. Ummmm…. a little too late for that buddy.

  2. and the wii discs — the really expensive ones – not the cheap ones, only the expensive ones. Some how they just know! We were able to salvage a few of them by bringing them to a local movie store (there are still a few around) and they were able to fix them in their disc repair machines for only a few $. Gave us a few extra weeks of life before I found it once again under a huge pile of toys, this time no longer fixable.

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